Dinner with Gingers
by SpiritOfEowyn
Summary: In search of 'ethnic' food, the Doctor, Amy and Rory run into refugees of a species he hasn't seen in a while- the Pythia. Hilarity will ensue, and fortunes will be told.
1. Chapter 1

**Dinner with Gingers**

**by 'Spirit of Eowyn'**

**Rated PG**

**Comedy/Drama**

**In search of 'ethnic' food, the Doctor, Amy and Rory run into refugees of a species he hasn't seen in a while. **

A/N: Thank you Wiki for information on Pythia, Karn and DWCanon_ Fodder for more information on Gallifreyan foods.

_Chapter One._

Some adventures begin with running, others begin with the want of food, this was one of the later.

"Come along Pond, Rory." The Doctor ushered Amy and Rory out of the TARDIS before locking the door. "Welcome to Therexo, restaurant capitol for the undecided in the universe. It boosts every kind of food any planet has ever invented, guaranteed to fulfill any craving, or your next two meals are free."

He turned to Amy and Rory, her recent revelation, and coming to her senses warranted a celebratory meal. His eyes were challenging. "So, What are you hungry for?"

"Italian?" Rory offered.

"E-talian. Etalian!" The Doctor scoffed. " Rory Williams, You could pick any kind of meal in the entirety of creation, the whole of time and space and you pick one thats found on almost every street corner of every planet that does business with the Great Human Empire. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"When it comes to food?" Rory frowned.

Amy pointed at a random name on the endless display list of restaurant names on Therexo.

The Doctor squinted down at it. "Mm. No. Best not. Not made for fragile human digestive systems. Don't think your stomach acids could handle dreig friln worms crawling around inside." He pointed his finger at them and commanded them like they were likely to choose otherwise. "No worms!"

Rory looked horrified. "No, probably not." He shook his head. "Definitely not."

"Come on Doctor," Amy said impatiently. "It's not like we know any non Earth food- hey! What about your homeworld Doctor? You look human enough, food couldn't be that bad. I bet Timelords have bigger on the inside fried icecream or something."

"You look timelord, not the other way around," The Doctor corrected automatically and then he frowned. " No, no Gallifrey now, no Gallifrey themed restaurants...although I could always ask and get a free dinner or two..."

"That's the spirit!" Amy said patting him on the back.

The Doctor led them into an elevator and typed in the standard spelling for Gallifrean Spiced Fish Tongue.

"I want that." He crossed his arms and hit the button.

The machine binged.

"You have selected Karnese Food. Only one restaurant serves it. Click here to visit _Pythia's Choice_." A pleasant electronic voice rung.

"Blimey!" The Doctor stepped back.

Amy hit the button and they flew to the left for about fifteen minutes. Amy and Rory cuddled together in one corner as the Doctor paced in astonishment. Pacing helped him think. Amy nuzzled Rory's nose and smiled.

Oh Lovely, the Doctor thought. Just what he needed- being the third wheel on his own adventures.

BING

The elevator finally opened and they found themselves in a marble grotto in the center of which was a decorative pool with a large golden red flame coming out of the center of it.

He couldn't imagine that one of the Pythia had survived, let alone to run a restaurant. However whomever thought they knew what Karnese ate at least had the Sacred Flame thing going for them.

A redheaded human looking teenage girl in a dark red robe approached them. "Welcome to Pythia's Choice, home of one of the only Karn, Wyoming restaurants still in existance!" She rattled off.

"Wyoming? Karn's a planet!" The Doctor blurted out loudly in an offended manner at about the same time Rory whispered to Amy "Isn't Wyoming in America?"

Amy nodded to Rory.

"Burgers and fries, Burgers with bacon. Now that's alien food I can go for." Rory looked pleased.

The teenager looked at the Doctor for thirty seconds before sticking out her nose and sniffing around him, eyes becoming wider. She was probably an adult by human standards. "It is a planet, not a lot of people know that. So we usually refer to our settlement on Earth that Was, you know after during the war." She turned to Rory and Amy. "Nice planet Earth. Especially those Northern Islands, yeah?" She slapped Rory on the back smiling in that 'I'd like a tip' manner.

She sniffed again. "Oh! A Timelord!" She turned to the Doctor eyes very wide. "We haven't had a timelord in years!" She gestured towards the entrance and announced herself to the building with a "Mum, we're got a Timelord!"

She turned around and gestured to a nice big table to sit at and turned to Rory. "And yes, we have large bacon cheeseburgers too."

Rory smiled. Amy glared at him and he dropped his would be high five hand.

In the background the Doctor heard some music that seemed vaguely familiar. He tried to remember his trip to Karn. Had it been like this? He remembered an old woman and youth potion and winning.

"So what kind of drinks can I start you out with?"

"Who are you?" The Doctor asked with a confused look on his face.

"I'm Allison and I'll be your server today." She rattled off like any full time waitress, pulling out three large dark red Tablets, two of which she tapped the language selection on before handing them out. "English, I presume."

"Yeah." Rory said without thinking. Amy poked him. "Scottish."

Their waitress frowned "I don't think we have it translated into that language. Will English do?"

"It's fine." The Doctor answered for them.

"So, Drinks." Allison cleared her throat.

"Water." Rory answered to the waitresses obvious dismay.

"Do you really have the juice of a Fretwo fruit?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes, sir." She nodded.

"But, how?" He asked.

"It's fresh squeezed from our garden."

"Oh, well, then I'll have that."

"Amy?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah, so, This Anin fruit smoothie, does it taste good to humans?"

"Yes Ma'm. If you have any questions about favorite meals for humans just … ask." She turned to the Doctor like he was a curiousity. "So which one are you? You all had such funny names... The Rani?"

"No!"

"Um, The" Allison airquoted. "Master."

"No."

"That one nice blonde timelord?"

"Which one?" The Doctor had been blonde once.

"Never mind."

"Romana?" Allison guessed. The Doctor gaped. Taking that as an admission Allison Continued. " Oh, Romana, your regeneration has gone horribly wrong!"

"I'm not a woman!" The Doctor said adamantly.

"You never know, you could have been." She looked him up and down suspiciously. "Uh, You're not Rassilon are you?"

"No."

"Oh good," She pointed at a small sign at the door. " We have a policy to refuse service to any regeneration of his. "

"Why?" Amy asked.

"He overthrew our government, basically destroyed our planet, genetically re-engineered our people and made us refugees you get the picture." Allison waved her hands like it was old news.

Amy's eyes widened.

"So, that would make you, ah, the popular one, gah," Allison kept snapping her fingers. "Ah! The Doctor!"

"Yes." The Doctor said flabbergasted.

"Ah, I'll go get your drinks." Allison headed towards the kitchen. Right before she became lost to their view.

A tall rotund middle aged looking woman in a yellow apron came from the kitchen area. "What was that Sweetie?"

"Timelord." She pointed.

"Really? It's been a while." The woman rubbed her hands on her apron and smoothed her reddish blonde hair down. She squinted at their table and took a deep breath with her nose and then seemed to taste the air. "Nope, just the Doctor." She went back inside the kitchen, and continued mumbling something about a debt.

The Doctor tried not to be offended. _Just the Doctor? He was a most impressive Timelord._

Allision came back with a Tray that held their drinks. "Here you go, Smoothie for the lady." She said cheerfully. " Juice for the native." She turned to Rory with long suffering. "And water."

"Thank you." Amy said automatically.

"So, have you given any thought to a main dish?"

"What are these 'Vitimay Cubays?'"

"Vitamin Cubes?" The Waitress asked. "Oh, you don't want to eat that, It's rubbish food, we only keep it for the really nostalgic Timelords, or people we don't like. They were all the uncreative rage for centuries on Gallifrey." their waitress made a face.

"They weren't so bad." The Doctor disagreed unconvincingly.

"Then I can put you down for a dozen?" Her hand was poised over her notepad.

"Um,eh, yeah."

Amy's eyes burned. "What I don't get is, we were looking for TimeLord food, and we got sent to a restaurant for the planet Karn. Why would they serve your kind of food if they don't even seem to really like Timelords? " She turned on the Doctor expectantly. "Doctor."

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Yes, well."

He hasn't told you?" Allison turned to Amy. " Karn and Gallifrey- they're in the same stars system. My people were originally from Gallifrey until, we were overthrown and ditched off on Karn." She spoke of it the way Martha Jones would speak of American slavery.

"So, wait-" Amy looked from the Doctor to the waitress. " You're the same species. All this time you've been going on about being the Last of your species and-"

"We are not the same." He objected.

"We're sooo not."Alison objected. "I don't change faces."

"But you're from the same planet.-" Amy argued.

"His people stayed with the Evil Traitor of Pythia, and were genetically altered, our ancestors might have been the same but I'm no timelord." The teenager made a face.

"Different." The Doctor nodded.

Amy rolled her eyes.

"So, entrees." Allison pulled her stylus out from behind her ear.

"I'd like that big bacon cheeseburger, with the chips, and the cheese sauce..." Rory ordered enthusiastically.

"Alright." Allison scribbled.

"Tafelshrews with roasted mushrooms, and 3 vitamin cubes." The Doctor ordered.

Amy looked quite unsure. It had taken Rory nearly dying for her to decide that yes she did want to marry her finacee she had known most of her life, deciding on dinner might take a while. "Mmm. What about dactyl egg omelet marinaded in schlenk blossoms? Is that human compatible?"

"Indeed."

"Schlenk blossoms?" The Doctor perked up. " Those are my favorite- smell lovely. Do you have anything else with them in it?"

"We have a Schlenk Dessert..." Alison offered.

"I'll take one."

"Very, good. I'll just put in your order." And off she went to the kitchen.

Rory looked at the Menu before asking. "How much is 50 credits?"

"You don't want to know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Dinner with Gingers by Spirit of Eowyn  
**

**Chapter Two- Fortune Cookies**

"You don't want to know."

"Well, how are we going to pay for this?" Rory asked, as Amy sipped her smoothie.

The Doctor rarely had companions who asked these kinds of questions. "I've got it."

"How do you have this centurys money? You don't have some side job in every century to pay for all your traveling do you? Money changes over time becomes unusable, couldn't pay with shilling or a Noble or a Mark, in, in our time period. " Rory asked. "You don't, rob banks do you?"

"No, and No. Although A Noble, helped invent that currency with a friend of mine. Don't know why I told you that." He paused, good time good times. Back to the point. "I'm a Timelord. I don't need money." He didn't want to tell Rory that well, in a way he did steal money from banks to pay his bills thanks to the Sonic. Hardly the right tone to take.

"I don't think the owner of this restaurant is going to agree with you. And no one would pay Amy to wash their dishes."

"Oi!" Amy complained.

"You never do the dishes." He said calmly despite her 'Not in Front of Company' stare. " You always make me do it. When you do it, they're still got food on them."

"I know the whole history of most planets, I think I know how to invest money for a hundred years and then pick it up in an hour." The Doctor explained, and then pointed at himself. "Don't doubt the bow tied genius."

Amy rolled her eyes but kept quiet sipping her drink.

"Isn't there a law against that?" Rory asked.

The Doctor's eyes twitched. "Used to be, more a guideline really. Trust the Bow tied Genius."

It seemed Rory got the hint not to argue with him and turned to his fiancee.

"What's it taste like?" Rory asked, his hand reaching towards her drink.

"Sour, I think Kinda plantish aftertaste."

"Can I?" Rory asked.

"Here. " She handed it to him and kept looking around the place, her gaze lingering on the gold shining sun symbol that decorated the borders. Another thing they got right.

Allison came back out to show a random couple to their seats on the complete other side of the restaurant.

The Doctor himself, although he hated to admit it couldn't tell the different between a human and a gallifreyan by look alone, unless he counted their ribs which he didn't think the waitress was emaciated enough for him to be able to just do that. Maybe he just hadn't seen one of his own kind in so long, The Master aside. Was she or her family a timelord that used a Chameleon Arch, and was just an echo of his people or had the Karn intermarried so often as to be hard to read. He looked around for a fob watch. As he waited for their food, he tried to think how it would be possible that anyone from his homeworld had survived, let alone that superstitious Sisterhood of Karn. They weren't anywhere near as brilliant.

The girl hadn't identified herself with them, but maybe they'd changed their name since the war and since they didn't live on Karn anymore. Maybe they realized The Sisterhood or the Sisterhood of Wyoming were both lame names especially if there were men among them. Maybe men were treated well now. There was something going on here either way. Possibly something sinister. The Doctor downed his juice.

It wasn't long before she came back to their table with more water.

"Mum, said you'd want more water." She said as she refilled Rory's dark blue glass.

Rory frowned. "The cook told you from the kitchen that I wanted more water."

"Yup." She pulled out another glass of juice from out of her right sleeve, which she placed in front of the Doctor.

"How?" Rory glanced around for badly hidden cameras.

"Psychic. All children of 'frey are to some degree, but Mums old enough to really get good at it." Allison said matter of factly.

The Doctor scowled. Here they were flippantly living a life, the low tech outcasts of his species, while his own were no more. The universe was a strange place with a strange sense of humor. "How many are there of you? How did you survive the war?"

"Oh, well, I wasn't even born during the war, but I remember being told about Some Elders going crazy by looking into their futures and avoiding every planet that was going to be destroyed or was too unstable temporally speaking." She looked distant. "There used to be many more of us, but we lost most of them on Earth. I remember hearing my mom think about it once, she cried. It was something stupid. Someone was supposed to come to save them but she never did. The Sleeping." Allison shook herself.

"Something stupid, How many live now exactly?" The Doctor said rudely.

"Doctor!" Amy exclaimed, pointing at him. "Be Nice to the Ginger."

She turned gratefully to Amy. "You act like our Pythia, Queens, did."

"So your Queens were always Ginger Women?" Amy joked.

"Yes actually. Most of us left are redheaded like them. Oh yeah, the homeworld used to be run by women." The other ginger grinned.

"Reeeally." Amy grinned and sat up straighter. Rory looked a bit concerned, as she turned her full 'take charge' gaze on the Doctor. "Your kind overthrew these nice Ginger women?"

"Ah, well, not meee." The Doctor objected.

"Most worlds should be run by ginger women." Amy said.

Time sensitives of course.

"Hear Hear!" Allison cheered. "Oh!" She turned as if she had been yelled at and hurried towards the kitchen.

The Doctor was saved from having to face Amy, by the arrival of their food. "Here, you go, enjoy you meal, let me know if you need anything, or I'll stop by if I know that you do." Allison told them before going back to her other customers.

The quickly dug into their meals. It was difficult to say whether Rory was more excited by his heart attack in a bacon cheeseburger with cheese fries or the Doctor with home cooking as it were.

"Tafelshrews?" Amy looked at the Doctor's plate as she held a forkful of omelet to her mouth. "What's the Earth Equivalent of that?"

The Doctor took another careful bite. "You don't want any. Enjoy your own nice smelling dinner."

"I don't want any, I just want to know what kind of animal that is? Is it like your homeworld's equivalent of a cow? Pig?"

"No." He responded. "It's more like a large Muroidea Rattus."

Rory put down his burger. " A rat? You're eating a rat?"

"They're very popular in the Philippines. Larger than the dogs in some parts." The Doctor justified with a concerned look on his face.

Amy's fork clattered on her plate. "A WHAT?"

The Doctor shushed her and looked around. "Don't diss local cultures."

"I thought Timelords were some almighty species, and you eat rats?"

"It's a nice tasting rat." The Doctor handed each of them vitamin cubes. "Here, balanced diet, no meat of any kind in this."

Amy put the vitamin cube in her mouth, blew up cheeks then rolled the cube right off her tongue and onto her plate."This vitamin cube is horrid."

Rory sniffed the cube questioningly, saw Amy's response and slipped it into his pocket.

" It has a more refined taste for a TimeLord tongue. Okay. It is, but, maybe that's why I ran away from home. " The Doctor pondered. "Very nutritious though," He considered as he swallowed. " For a Timelord, couldn't be too bad for you. Good for the synapses. Practical not designed to be enjoyed. Maybe this is why I'd never come across a Gallifeyan restaurant before..." He raised an eyebrow.

Another group came through the door, and the Doctor noticed that they looked like aliens who were trying to be cowboys and had only heard about them from a flying saucer that tended to exaggerate.

At about the time that the Doctor wondered where his dessert was, Allison returned, with it on a platter. He knew this not because he saw her, but he could hear her coming with all the jangling bells attached to her gold necklace, and smell the sweet aroma of his favorite flower. This was definitely a place to come back to.

"Right on time. " He said without looking up.

"Of course." His waitress acknowledged. "So I imagine you're here for more than just the food, like everyone and want to know your future, or well, your past."

"Hmm?" Rory asked, as he took out a spoon to steal from the Doctor's plate.

"You know, " She pulls out a menu and scrolls to the bottom where it says. ' One free fortune told per dinner ordered, Wednesdays excluded.'

" Oh, well then, tell us our fortunes." Amy said jiggling her head.

"Let's see. " She took a deep breath, hummed, waved her hands about, "What I see."

"He will knock four times." She intoned majestically pointing at the Doctor.

"You're a little late." The Doctor muttered.

" Really? Um...Turn Left?"

"What is that about?"

"Ask a question. Look, I'm not the best Seer, being only thirty and not trained much, but I should be able to divine the answer to a question." She responded a bit testily.

"Are bowties cool?" Amy asked looking at the Doctor.

"No." She responded quickly. "And neither are Fezes. They're likely to be shot."

The Doctor was skeptical of all this mystical trickery. Those who knew the future were usually only told you the sort of thing that would make you feel very stupid later, were easily misinterpreted into what you wanted to hear, poor Macbeth, would lead you to your doom, or were otherwise useless or depressing. It could be entertaining but he didn't want them to take it too seriously, especially when it came to the coolness of bow ties.

"How long will Amy and I be together?" Rory asked smiling at Amy and putting his arm around her.

" Four Days." There was an awkward silence. "And two thousand years." Allison rubbed her temples. "Give or take. That was weird." She laughed nervously. "Oh, and stay out of the heat."

Rory gaped at her and looked about to ask a question on which it was.

"Go ahead tell me my future, entertain me." The Doctor said, to distract Rory from asking questions that he would no doubt not like the answer to.

" Advice then." She got into the groove and her eyes went distant, and her voice urgent. "It's very important. You must remember. Hope remains while company is true. The Problem is the Solution. And your old, new, borrowed blue box is the problem."

"What?" The Doctor sat up straighter. That didn't make any sense. Although that was nothing new when it came to Seers. He got the feeling this was going to be one of those things that would bite him in the butt in the most inopportune moment.

Allison cleared her throat. "So, did you do it?"

The Doctor was surprised to find her looking at him. "What? Me? Do what?"

"You know name a galaxy Allison." Their waitress looked uneasy.

"Why would I do that?"

Her face got red and she muttered something in Gallifreyan that sounded like 'figures' and ' never trust a timelord,' and a few other epithets he didn't want to dwell on. How rude. She put a piece of paper back in her pocket and walked back to the front desk.

"Here you go. That will be seven hundred credits." Allison said with the least friendly voice of the evening. "Have a great night."

The Doctor did some quick math in his head and figured it couldn't have been more than four hundred credits. Too bad.

"Time to go." The Doctor said getting up. "Shake a leg."

Amy looked at the empty table.

"She just told us our future, gave great service, and you're not going to tip the ginger?" Amy complained.

"She double charged us. No Tip." The Doctor objected loudly as he reached the door.

"I did not!" Allison appeared out of nowhere. " Last time you said you'd name a galaxy Allison after my mom and I OR you'd pay what you owed with interest next time you were here. That was last week."

"That's impossible. I have never been here before." He pointed his finger at her. "If I was here last week you would have known who I was."

"You looked different, lanky attractive and you could dress yourself," Allison protested. Amy sniggered. " you were here with another redhead named Donna."

"Who's Donna?" Rory asked.

Allision looked confused, and pointed in two different directions. "Unless this is a previous incarnation to the Great Hair one."

"No, that was me, the last me actually. Wait, I don't remember that, how do I know that you didn't just pluck her name out of my head and made this whole thing up?" The Doctor asked.

"She was snarky, and she apologized when you left for her barmy martian who doesn't get things like tips."

"Who's Donna?" Rory asked again since no one was listening to him.

The Doctor smiled slightly. "That would be Donna."

"Who's Donna?" Amy asked.

"My last companion." The Doctor responded.

"Oh, so you'll answer her and ignore me." Rory muttered.

"You'd have known if you'd been listening, Catch up Rory." The Doctor responded. "Fine then." The Doctor reached into his pocket merrily.

" And don't try to use your psychic paper again it won't work on us." The rotund chef came out of the kitchen to comment. " You owe us real money. No beads."

The Doctor put the psychic paper back and innerly cursed psychic run restaurants. "Right, of course not. Wouldn't dream of it. Who do you think I am?" He handed her a thousand credits. "Keep the change."

"Thank you. You're more polite this go around!" She said appreciatively.

"Less Rude, and still not ginger. That's me." He said as he exited, and then tripped.

By the TARDIS there was another crack bleeding through, but that's not important, not when you realize that some adventures are about greater things than the universe being destroyed. Things like home cooking.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

Amy and Rory found themselves on a snowy planet called the Oodsphere, breaking into a slave business, not to save them, and the Doctor was holding a can of spray paint.

"What are we doing here?" Amy looked around at all the dark blue cargo containers.

"Don't open the Doors," The Doctor protested.

"What's in them?" Rory asked.

"Oods."

"That's Ood. What's an Ood."

"Slave race, can't free them, but I have, will do that. No don't want to open them. Could have red eyes."

"Okay." Rory said turning to Amy with that, 'the Doctor's crazy.' look on his face again.

The Doctor continued to spray paint on the side of a few of them.

"What is that?" Amy asked. "It looks like that Home box we found."

"It should, it's High Gallifreyan."

"So you're writing a note to River?" Amy guessed.

"No." The Doctor denied. "I'm writing a note to myself, my younger self."

"What? Why? Doesn't that violate that No Spoilers rule of yours." Amy asked.

"No. Crossing into established events is forbidden, except for cheap tricks," He muttered. " and good food."

"You're messing with time, not to save the universe or warn about the cracks in time, but to eat 'good food'." Amy said exasperated.

Rory shrugged in understanding. That had been a great burger.

"Um, Yeah." He said looking at his handiwork. " That's good, Rory gets it, let's go."

"Boys!" She threw up her arms and followed after.

Chapter 3.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. No Beta. Chapter 3 will involve the 10th Doctor.


End file.
